Damn it Tamaki!
by GreenFlameGirl
Summary: A series of one-shots where Tamaki screws up...a lot
1. Chapter 1

AN: So this is going to be a series of one-shots where just Tamaki screws up...a lot. If you have any funny scenarios or ideas, please private message or write a review and I'll make site to give credit. Enjoy! ^0^

P.S. I don't own Code Geass (duh)

"Shake dat ass for me, shake dat ass for me, oh yeah!" Tamaki sang as he strolled down the hall. His blue earbuds were blasting out music into his ears, preventing him from hearing anything else. He kept on moving through the building, not really caring where he was or will be.

It wasn't until he reached Zero's office did he take out his earphones. The office had glass windows which allowed Tamaki to see all of the Black Knights working below him. In the corner of the room, was the intercom the Zero used to make announcements. "Woah what's this!" Tamaki exclaimed as he rushed to the intercom. He set down his iPod and picked up another labeled "New Black Knights Anthem". "Aw sweet! I hope its rock themed. Ha, imagine if Zero was rapping and-"

"Tamaki! What are you doing in here?" Kallen shouted as she marched over to Tamaki, followed by Zero who was equally angry, but didn't show it as much.

Tamaki quickly put the iPod with the new anthem down next to his so that they didn't know he was snooping. "I was just ummmm... Looking for you Zero!" Tamaki quickly said. Zero sighed. He knew that Tamaki was obviously lying. "Just get out Tamaki; I can't deal with you right now. I have an announcement to make." Zero sighed as he walked over to the intercom. Tamaki grabbed his iPod (or so he thought) and rushed out, not wanting to be put on toilet duty again. Sighing, he connected his earphones to the iPod, put the buds in his ears, and pressed play. "Oh no." Tamaki muttered as drums and trumpets filled his ears.

The familiar crackling noise of the intercom turning on was heard throughout the building. "Attention all Black Knights. I had an acquaintance (a geassed person) record an anthem for us that I hope will fill us with the motivation to fight for Japan!" Zero said through the intercom. A rustling was heard as Kallen connected the iPod to the intercom.

"...Shake dat ass for me, shake dat ass for me, oh yeah!" Roaring laughter and protests filled the air, but were quickly silenced when a voice shook the entire Black Knights Base. "Damn it Tamaki!"


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thanks everyone who reviewed! You all made me feel special ^u^

P.S. I don't own Code Geass

"What do you want Tamaki?" Zero groaned as he walked down the hall. "I think I may have an idea that could change Knightmare battles forever." Tamaki dramatically said. This now caught Zero's interest because the Britannians just released a prototype for a new and improved Knightmare, and so far, they have only been able to cause a dent (you rock Kallen!). "I'm listening." Zero said, now stopped in the hallway. "For too long have our soldiers' burning throats caused a defeat. For too long have our Knightmares not have the necessary equipment to hydrate our parched Black Knights." Tamaki said in a deep voice, now doing dramatic poses. 'Oh god no. Don't make me hit you Tamaki' Zero thought. "Every battle will be victorious if we had...Cup Holders!" Tamaki announced, striking the pose Zero did when he was on the speedboat. There was a long pause as Zero contained his urge to with hit Tamaki or face palm. He took a couple deep breaths and said with a shaky voice, "Tamaki. If we had drinks or any sort of liquid inside the Knightmares, what do you think would happen if the Knightmares shook a lot or was tipped upside down?"

"The liquid would...ohhhh. I see. Is that why you also turned down my porta potty built into the seats idea?" Tamaki said, now feeling kinda stupid. "Yes Tamaki that is why. Now if could excuse me, Kallen and I have to take the new marine Knightmares for a test run with the new recruits." Zero said as he began to walk towards the parking lot. Tamaki sighed, feeling like he let down his buddy. He began to walk back down the hall when he suddenly got another "brilliant" plan.

"Ok recruits, this is the marine Knightmare test run it has two seats. One person will control the Knightmare while the other will be in charge of communications and the status of the Knightmare. This will involve lots of teamwork so that is why I have Kallen as my pilot. The Knightmare will fly up into the air and then make a fast dive into the water. It will allow the Knightmare to travel very fast on short time. We will now give you a demonstration." Zero said, now climbing into the Knightmare. He strapped himself in and gave the all clear. As the rockets below began to lift them up, the Knightmare started to shake and move in random directions. "Kallen is everything all ri-" Zero couldn't form any words to describe how enraged he was, for in Kallen's place, was the biggest idiot in the world. Tamaki was hastily pushing random buttons and levers while saying in a shaky voice,"Hey bud-Woah! How's it going?"

"Tamaki" Zero groaned."I don't care how you got in here or where Kallen is. All I want to know now, is what the. F**k is that." Zero pointed at a poorly made cup holder made of duct tape ad cardboard. It was holding up a mug filled with coffee, and had Zero's face (or mask) on it. "It's the Knight Holder! You likey?" Tamaki said as he did jazz hands. That's when the Knightmare started to shake in the air. The mug was knocked out of the "holder" and onto the control panel. Sparks flew up as a robotic voice said, "Emergency Seat Ejection Activated." The roof of the Knightmare opened up and flung poor Zero into the air. "Damn it Tamaki!" Zero yelled as he plunged into the icy waters. "I'm screwed"


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thank you all so much for the support!******

**P.S. I don't own Code Geass******

**P.S.S. My favorite parts of Code Geass are Lelouch's insane laughs! What's yours? Write it in a review and I'll post a few in the next chapter!**

"Here Zero let me wash your cape thing!" Tamaki said as he walked next to Zero.

*sigh* "I'm good Tamaki. Now please leave me. I have a meeting to attend to."

"Well, at least let me do something! I'm super sorry!" Tamaki begged, now on his knees.

_Flashback :D__  
_  
It happened at yesterday's emergency drills. Zero was watching from the balcony with Ohgi and Kallen next to him. "Hey buddy!" Tamaki yelled as he ran up from behind him. "I made you a sandwich." Tamaki then pulled a sandwich on a plate from behind his back.

"Tamaki. You know that I-"

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaa-"

"Fine!" Zero groaned. Taking the plate from Tamaki. He turned and faced a corner so that his face wasn't visible. Out of courtesy, Kallen and the others turned the other way.

"There. Happy?" Zero said as he put the sandwich with a small bite down on a desk.

"Did you like it?" Tamaki asked, a big goofy grin plastered on his face.

"It was o-hot. Hot! Hot! Hot!" Zero ran around the room desperately trying to find a bottle of water or a sink. Seeing that there was room had nothing that could help him, he sprinted out of the room to find a bathroom or the break room.

"Tamaki! What was in that sandwich?" Kallen yelled.

"I-uh lettuce, umm tomato, some chicken, ketchup..." Tamaki stuttered.

Ohgi went to the sandwich, pulled of the bread, and scooped a pea sized glob of the ketchup. He tasted it and began to grow a bit red in the face.

"Tamaki! That wasn't ketchup. That was Death Pepper Sauce!" Ohgi yelled.

_End of flashback :D_

"Please! I'll do anything."

"Fine. I just ran out of coffee a-"

"Say no more buddy!" Tamaki exclaimed as he snatched the mug from Zero's hand and ran off to the break room.

"Make it black!" Zero yelled, but Tamaki was already long gone.

At the break room, Tamaki was hurrying to try and make the coffee as quick as possible.

"Shoot! I forgot to ask what he liked on his coffee. Oh well! I guess two cream and two sugars is good enough." Tamaki said as he went searched through a cabinet for the sugar.

Once he found it, he quickly poured them in and searched for the cream. That is when a Black Knight soldier entered the room and started to prepare some tea. The soldier was actually the girl Tamaki had a huge crush on.

Tamaki's focus was immediately centered on the girl instead of Zero's coffee.

"Hey how's it going?" Tamaki asked in a deep voice, trying to sound manly but failing.

"Ummm I'm good thanks?" The girl answered, getting a bit uncomfortable. As Tamaki was trying to woo the girl, he unknowingly opened the medicine cabinet instead of the fridge and grabbed a bottle of chloroform.

"You know Zero is my best friend. I'm actually making this coffee for him." Tamaki said as he poured the chloroform into the mug.

"Uh huh. Yeah well I best be on my way. I have to go umm fix something." The girl said as she scurried off down the hall.

Tamaki sighed as he put down the bottle and started to walk back to Zero. 'So close!' Tamaki thought as he approached Zero who was talking to Tohdoh about plans or something.

"Here ya go!" Tamaki joyfully said as he thrust the cup into Zero's hands.

"Thanks Tamaki. Now if you will excuse me." Zero said, hinting that Tamaki should now leave him alone. But Tamaki just stood there with a stupid grin still on his face.

Zero sighed and started to turn around so that he could drink the coffee.

"Umm Zero. Is it really wise to drink something Tamaki made?" Tohdoh whispered to Zero.

"I know but if I don't Tamaki will be bugging me all day." Zero said sadly.

Tohdoh gave a sort nod and turned around so that Zero could drink. The familiar sound of Zero's mask opening was heard as Zero drank his coffee. Once he was finished he closed his mask and turned around.

"You can look now." Zero said. Tohdoh sighed in relief and Tamaki was clapping his hands, happy that he did something right.

"No if you will excuse me I ha-" *THUNK!* Zero collapsed to the ground unconscious.

"Zero!" Tohdoh yelled as he rushed to Zero.

"Awe crap." Tamaki muttered as he tried to scoot away unnoticed.

"Damn it Tamaki!"


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thanks again for reviewing, following, and favoriting! You all inspire me to keep writing.******

**P.S. I dot own Code Geass**

"Movie time!" Tamaki yelled as he bellyfloped onto a couch. He was currently in his apartment with Ohgi, who was in the kitchen making popcorn.

"I hope this is a short movie. We have a meeting tomorrow and I don't to be yawning in front of Zero." Ohgi said as he carried a bowl of popcorn to the couch. Tamaki inserted the movie and sat down on the couch. He grabbed a handful of popcorn and started to stuff his pie hole. Of his grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. The words "Jason X" appeared on the screen as creepy music began to play.

"Hah! I bet you're gonna scream and wet your pants." Tamaki said confidently.

Time Skip!

"That was a good movie." Ohgi said as he stood up. He grabbed the empty bowl of popcorn and put it in the sink.

"Time to head home. See you tomorrow Tamaki!" Ohgi said as he went out through the door to his house. Tamaki gave a short and shaky nod as he crawled to his room. He climbed under the covers and attempted to sleep.

Another Time Skip!

"Wow Tamaki you look tired!" Kallen said as she walked down next to a stumbling Tamaki.

"Didn't sleep. Scary. Hockey mask."  
Tamaki muttered. He was looking around frantically as if someone was following him. His lack of sleep was making him hallucinate.

"Okay...Let's just go to the meeting." Kallen replied as she led Tamaki to the room where the meeting was being held.

Inside the Room about 10 Minutes in the Past.

"C.C. What is that?" Zero asked pointing at a white hockey mask.

"It's a mask I found at the school theatre. Try it on!" C.C. Said as she held up the mask for Zero to grab.

"Umm let me seeNo! I don't think it is very appropriate for a leader to wear a hockey mask." Zero said, pushing the mask away from his...mask.

"Pleeeaaase? I'll pay for my own pizza for a week!" C.C. pleaded.

"Fine. Give it here. I hope they don't arrive while I have this thing on." Zero took the mask from C.C., removed his, and slipped it on.

"There happy?" Zero said, doing a little pose. That is when Kallen and a stumbling Tamaki entered.

"Oh my god. It's Jason! Ahhhhhh!" Tamaki started screaming and running around.

"Tamaki calm down! I am not-"

"Take this!" Tamaki shouted as he pulled out his taser. He aimed at Zero and fired.

"Tamaki No!" Kallen's shouted, but it was too late. Zero collapsed to the ground, twitching from all the electricity in his body.

"Yes! I got hi-oh crap." That is when he noticed C.C. Holding Zero's mask and that "Jason" was wearing Zero's costume.

"Damn it Tamaki!" Kallen shouted!

"Lol" C.C. Said as she took a picture of the unconscious Zero with her phone.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Thank you LivesForTheReveal for the idea of this story! It was an amazing idea! Also, sorry for the long wait. I'm going to be moving in a couple days and I'm super busy! I'll try to update the story as much as possible.******

**P.S. I don't own Code Geass**

"Cause this is Thriller! Thriller night!" Tamaki sang as he slid across the floor. Zero had put Tamaki on cleaning duty after his last slip up. He thought that it would be a boring job, but he found a way to entertain himself.

"Weeeee!" Tamaki yelled as he glided down the hall. He had duct taped sponges on his feet and found this method of cleaning to be much more fun!

"Time for more soap!" Tamaki gleefully said as he pulled a bottle of dish soap from his pocket. He squirts some on the floor and begins to skate.

"Tamaki what are you do-Ahh!" Kallen exclaimed as she slipped and fell on her back.

"Hi Kallen! I'm just washing the floor for my best buddy!" Tamaki said with a stupid grin. Kallen sighed, knowing that she can't really punish Tamaki for working.

"Fine. Just keep on doing what you're doing." Kallen said as she picked herself up from the floor.

"Aye aye captain!" Tamaki said as he gave a mock salute.

"This stuff is very slippery. What brand of soap are you using?" Kallen asked, grabbing the bottle from his pocket.

"I don't know. It's slimy and wet so it must be soap." Tamaki said with a nod. Proud of himself for being so "clever".

"Tamaki! This isn't soap! This is oil!" Kallen yelled while hitting Tamaki upside the head.

"How was I supposed to know?" Tamaki shouted.

"You could have read the label!" Kallen retorted.

"What is going on here?" Zero said as he stepped into the hallway, nearly slipping in the process.

"This big idiot washed the floor with oil!" Kallen said. Zero sighed

"Now we have to wash the floor again. This could be very dangerous. Someone could trip and dro-"

"Watch out!" 

_About 5 minutes ago in Rakshata's lab_

"Ryan! Amy!" Rakshata shouted, holding a vial of brown liquid.

"Yes Rakshata?" A female soldier said, a boy soldier standing next to her.

"I need you to take this to Tohdoh. He will know what to do." Rakshata said, giving Amy the vial.

"What is it?" Ryan asked, swirling the liquid around.

"It is a fever." Rakshata said bluntly.

"...what?"

"This is a vial if fever. I managed to turn a fever into a liquid and can be absorbed through the skin. We think we may be able to use it in battle. So it should go without saying that you should NOT DROP IT!" Rakshata emphasized.

"Got it. You can count on us!" The two shouted as they sprinted down the hall.

"Be careful!" Rakshata shouted, but they were too far gone.

"Maybe this can get us promoted!" Amy happily said as she sprinted down the hall, not really paying attention to where she was going.

"I doubt it. Hey look its Ze-Watch out!" Ryan shouted as he started slipping on the oil covered floor and crashed into Amy.

"Oh-no!" Amy exclaimed as she tripped and fell, the vial of fever flying into the air. It spun in the air a couple times before landing on Zero. The vial shattered on impact and the liquid seeped into his skin.

"See Tamaki! This is what happens when yo-Achoo!" Zero sneezed.

"Aw crap!" Amy exclaimed.

"We are so sorry!" Ryan said, almost in tears for failing a mission.

"What was in the-Achoo!" Zero said, now feeling very dizzy.

"A...a fever." Amy stuttered, thinking that she will be fired.

"A fever! I can't get sick! I have to plan for the ne-Achoo!" Zero said before he started to cough violently. He stumbled for a bit then passed out onto the oily hallway.

"Zero!" Amy and Ryan exclaimed, both of them running to their unconscious leader.

"Tamaki!" Kallen growled, chasing after Tamaki who was sprinting down the hall, trying to get away from Kallen

"Someone! Save me from this psychotic lady!" Tamaki screamed.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys! I'm am soo sorry for the long wait. My family and I moved and I just haven't had any time. This might also be my last chapter. I'll continue it if people want me to, but I was considering writing a Hetalia fanfic. I'm sorry again for the long wait, enjoy!

P.S. I don't own Code Geass

* * *

"Oh my god. Look at this puppet!" Tamaki shouted, earning weird looks from parents and children. He put his hands in a tiger puppet and started to make it dance.

"Tamaki" Ohgi sighed. "We are supposed to get food for the break room, not look at kid's toys!"

"Fine. Wait. What is that?!" Tamaki shouted. He ran to a tiny megaphone with the buttons old man, alien, cat, and baby. He pressed the alien button and spoke through it. Instead of words, all that was heard was weird garbling noises.

"Cool! Please Ohgi? I promise I will focus." Tamaki begged, hugging the voice changing megaphone to his chest.

"No Tamaki!"

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please!"

"No!"

"Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase?"

"Fine, but no more stops. Got it?" Ohgi said, taking the toy to the cash register.

"Yes sir!"

_**Time Skip**_

"Meow!"

"Blargebulu!"

"Grr I'm an old man!"

"Wa baby!"

"Oh my god Tamaki shut up!" Kallen yelled. Tamaki, Ohgi, and Kallen were currently at the Black Knight's break room putting all of the new food in the shelves.

"You have been doing that for the past 30 minutes!" Kallen threw a book at Tamaki which hit the megaphone, making it fall to the ground. The cheap plastic shattered and rendered the toy useless.

"Hey! You broke my thing!" Tamaki whined. Picking up the pieces and trying to fit them together.

"It was for the best. You were getting too distracted by it anyway." Ohgi said, patting Tamaki's back.

"Maybe Rakshata can fix it! Hah and maybe she can make a Zero mode!" Tamaki said, sprinting to the lab.

"Rakshata!" Tamaki yelled. Slamming the doors open.

"What? What's wrong?!" Rakshata yelled. Dropping whatever she was doing and running over to Tamaki.

"Kallen broke my thing!" Tamaki whined, holding out the broken pieces of his megaphone. Rakshata sighed and went back to work. She was standing at metal table with many different microchips and fancy looking machine parts.

"Is that...Zero's mask?" Tamaki asked, racing over to the metal table the mask was on. He put down the broken toy among the other millions of other machinery and snatched the mask out of Rakshata's hands. He put it on and did a fancy pose.

"I am Zero! I like to be mean to Tamaki and I like to sleep or something while everyone works. Dur!" Tamaki said with a super deep voice.

"For your information!" Zero said, stepping out from a dark corner. "I plan meetings, get information, and rarely sleep when I am away."

"Oh s**t!" Tamaki exclaimed, quickly taking off the helmet and handing it back to Rakshata. "I uh didn't see you there buddy...you know I didn't mean that right?"

"Tamaki...you're on dish duty."

"Damn it!" Tamaki pouted.

"Rakshata, are you done with my helmet yet?" Zero asked, walking over to the scientist.

"What's wrong with your helmet?" Tamaki asked, picking up the helmet and examining it.

"The voice modulator in my helmet broke during a fight. This is just a back up helmet I have for emergencies. It's not as good as that one because this one has no speaker and its harder to see out of.

"What's this for?" Tamaki asked as he pressed a button on the side of the helmet. The little panel opened that Zero used to "geass" people.

"Nothing!" Zero quickly said as he snatched the helmet out of Tamaki's hands and placed it back on the table.

"Ooookayyy?" Tamaki said, still curious about what Zero is hiding. Rakshata sighed, but continued to work in Zero's helmet. He had a meeting tonight and wanted it to be down by then. Rakshata looked around as she worked. She saw Zero, writing a speech or something in a notepad. She also saw Tamaki playing with a vial of acid...

"Tamaki don't touch that!" Rakshata yelled, rushing over to stop Tamaki. She quickly snatched the vial out of his hands and put it back in the cupboard. She grabbed his hand and dragged him over to her work table.

"You are going to stay here where I can see you. I need to get this done by tonight so don't interrupt me. Got it?"

"Fiiiine." Tamaki groaned. He began to look around the room for something to entertain him, but the only things in the room were Rakshata (no), Zero (hell no!), and a bunch of junk (I guess this will have to do.)

Tamaki began to fiddle with the pieces of technology on the table. He tried to fit some together to build a robot or something.

"Tamaki don't touch that either! Now I don't know what piece to use!" Rakshata exclaimed, pulling Tamaki's little robot apart.

"Awwww I was going to make him my little Knightmare son." Tamaki pouted. He walked over to Zero and began to poke him out of boredom. Rakshata sighed again went back to work. She reached out for the speaker on the table, but saw a major problem. There were two speakers next to each other and she couldn't remember which one to use.

'Tamaki must have tried to use the speaker for his robot. Dang it! Which one is it!' She looked at the clock and saw that it was almost time for Zero to go to his meeting. She looked at the two pieces and hastily picked one up. She put it into his mask and screwed it shut.

"Done!" Rakshata said as she proudly held up Zero's mask.

"Thank you Rakshata. Just in time too. I need to head over the meeting." Zero grabbed his mask and walked out of the door and to his private quarters to put it on.

"Bye buddy!"Tamaki yelled, waving down the hall. 'Sigh' "We did good today" Tamaki said as he patted Rakshata's back.

"What are you talking about? I'm the one...aw screw it. Just get out."

_**At the meeting room!**_

"When is Zero going to get here again?" Ohgi asked, fiddling with a pen.

"He told me that his mask broke earlier. I guess he just must be late getting it fixed." Tohdoh replied, checking his watch for the tenth time. He looked around nervously at all the representatives from weapon companies. He hoped none of them will leave.

"Here he is!" Kallen said, standing up. Everyone else followed her lead and stood. Zero walked into the room and waved his hand to tell them to sit. He walked over to the projector and began his speech.

"Meow meow mew mew." Zero said as he pointed to pictures on the screen.

"Ummm Zero. What are you doing?" Ohgi asked, confused on why Zero was meowing.

"Meow? Mew meow! New mya meow!" Zero exclaimed, now hearing what he sounds like. Laughter filled the room as all the representatives fell out of their chaired. Tohdoh and Ohgi tried to hide their giggling but failed. Kallen was the only one who was trying to calm everyone down.

"Tamaki!" Kallen roared.


End file.
